why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
