Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
smell my finger.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
