he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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