you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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