If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
My underwear smells like fireworks.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
