We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
