Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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