you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
