i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
