i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
