Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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