I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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