I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
