walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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