things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
