HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
