So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
