its not stalking. its research.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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