Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
