There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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