please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Mom said you looked used
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
