Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Randomize
