know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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