i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Buhtt sex?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
