Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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