Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We're not piercing ourselves today.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize