I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
