If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
