Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
