I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
