So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
