I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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