i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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