Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
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