Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
