I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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