Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
