I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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