Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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