Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
