He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
