beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize