So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize