o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
