I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
