i think my tv is drunk
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
