My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
