i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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