listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
