dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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