just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
