never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
