I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
