Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
