Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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