Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Randomize
