So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
