he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
