You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
