Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
