You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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