____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
