i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Michael Bay diarrhea
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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