yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize